Depressed child

Poem by Yarona G Monthe

Sadness is my homie
Comes out to play only when I am sober
He would
Make me feel worthless,
Play mind games with me
Only to make me feel selfless;

Sometimes,
sometimes he plays with my heart,
My lungs when he is angry
My thoughts: he despises them
He takes away the happiness with a slight grimace
He is my Grinch taking away the gay spirit in my face.

I stay up at night listening to him
The party animal he is
I would seek silent days
cut myself to feel pain
Best excuse to ignore him
I close my eyes only to see darkness
And I wonder if this is what i might turn out to be

Scream out loud
But the world feels out of reach
The distance between us
Longer than we preach
I scratch the door
Just so someone can hear me
Just so someone can come and help me
Put me out of this misery

My friends do not even want me
They say depressed child
Aint fun no more
Betrayed I felt,
Because They do not,
They do not understand how the world sometimes feels like it is against me
A little bit of tobacco helps keep me sane
I drink to flush down the aloneness
They think they understand me
But it is just a ruse
My life be on a thread
One could say I am a fuse

I hope one day i can amuse
I hope one day i can smile
Radiate so much
I could light the room
Feel less of a weight
Because my homie finally went to prison
My homie is no more a threat
I hope one day to go out and play with other children
Irritate my fiends

I hope i am winning
For I don’t want to be sinning
The only remember you when you are 6feet under
Talk about how they didn’t notice
I am my own strength
My own “chin up girl we’ll get through this”