The rhythm of my grief

Poem by Chavani Ripfumelo Constacia

Listen to the tone of my grief,
A discomfort that started when existence turns into a misery…
When days and night were more of the same..
When my ex started to cheat on me with a Paramour.

He abandoned his son in my womb for he wanted pleasant time.
I still recalls with every details..
How he deprived me day light of my pure love…
He was a master!
He knew how to play his games well,
For I was not his first target neither his last.
He did it way back,
Before he even knew I will be on his target list..

Before me,

He tasted so many innocent girls with his tongue…
He never stopped there..
I was then on his palm as his victim…
He tasted me!
He still went on and on on nibbling more with his familiar tongue he used to awaken my lust..

He gave me that same little glare,
That smile that play duplicate in my mentality like a condemnation.
I was confused,
I though it was love that’s filled in his heart ..
Little did I noticed I was blundered..
I fall!
And fall!
I fall so deep in lust…
Its a pity there was not even a worning clue to awaken me.
I spread wide open without knowing his distrust..
For I assumed his acts were tangible..

unexpectedly, things started to change
I knew he had another target list,
But I was busy hoping he won’t forsake me like others..
But I was wrong!
Because he gave himself to others..

The love we once had was now a memory, it was no longer reserved and no longer sacrificed,
He abandoned me before I was even due…
For I was carrying myself….
He abandoned his flash and blood,
He unclaimed his own son..