What I earned from these scars

Poem by Refilwe J Mokgatlenyane

Throughout my childhood my mistakes have been labeled out
For every scar I got, represented every serious or even petty mistake I had made
Represented every cup or plate I accidentally broke,
And no mistake I made rubbed off and vanished without being paid for

Spent all my years as a child screaming in pain
For every whipping I got standing behind the shower walls made of porcelain
My body barren and naked, earning whips from a stick of cane
And even more permanent scars that built walls inside of me, were the wistful words telling me I am worthless
More than just worthless, I was being told I am useless

I grew up with my dreams threatening to shatter before my eyes
I grew up with my hopes getting flushed down the drain, time and again
I grew up with unrelenting doubts that I will ever see the light at the end of the tunnel
But you see, there has always been that little me inside of me with a little voice
And that little me soothed my worries and made me realize that there’s a lot more to earn from these scars
That one day all the dreams I keep having will be a reality and I will live to them

And from every whipping sent down my spine making me whine
From every cursing word that fled down the tunnel in my ears
And from every dark and bold threats giving me Goosebumps and evoking my fears
Life keeps me moving because growth is inevitable
It keeps me growing towards that stage of stability where I’ll achieve my dreams and I never stop thriving
The many times I fall and earn another bruise are the many times I grow and open my eyes even wider and keep striving
I have my eyes on the ball and I know am about to get there, because I’ve spent my whole life surviving