She lives in me

Poem by Refilwe J Mokgatlenyane
Her voice is full of pain and rage
It’s like she’s been locked in a hard shield cage
And she doesn’t wanna leave without imbedding a mark
I can feel her fists, aggressively hitting against my heart
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night
Only to find her bleeding, her wrists smeared with cuts
She doesn’t think straight, she might be nuts
She lives in me but we’re two different souls in one
Her voice is so loud that it travels down my heart
No matter how much I press in my ears, this voice is inside of me
I can’t fight, I cannot drown her because she’s part of me
She belongs in my body for as much as I do too
But I suffer from the repercussions of her deeds that I know not of
She lives in every part of my body
Her blood just as mine runs through my veins
She’s alive and controls part of my brain
And I won’t lie, this life is pain, its vain
To live as yourself and wake up to be a stranger the other day
She lives in me and I can’t do anything about it anymore
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